Your ego is your identity as defined by a collection of beliefs and when challenged, you can become defensive to protect it at all costs. Self-esteem is different from ego but there is a careful balance between the two. We often hear “Put your ego aside”, “He has a big ego”, “Experience an ego death”, “It hurt her ego”, but what does this really mean?
Your ego is an important part of growth but at a certain point it is necessary to transcend it. The ego creates the fear of what others will think of you and gives importance to others’ thoughts. Ego, possessiveness, jealousy, anger, and greed are all connected and what people think of when regarding ego. However, it is also connected to feelings of unworthiness, self-hatred, and inferiority. It is what you have decided to accept as truth about yourself based on what you and others say. When you spiritually and energetically wake up and see there is nothing to be proved and nothing to possess, ego dissolves.
Your ego is separate from your soul, or true essence, and below is a comparison to help you understand the differences.
Soul |
vs |
Ego |
Gratitude |
vs |
Entitlement |
Take Responsibility |
vs |
Blame |
Compliment |
vs |
Criticize |
Help |
vs |
Gossip |
Exude Joy |
vs |
Breed Negativity |
Value Emotional/Spiritual Connection |
vs |
Value Material Possessions |
Embrace Change |
vs |
Fear Change |
Victor |
vs |
Victim |
Self-Acceptance |
vs |
Self-Denial |
Forgiveness |
vs |
Resentment |
Eckart Tolle talks about ego in his books and teachings referring to the ego as a protective heavy shell that acts as armor to cut you off from other people and the outside world. It is a sense of separation: I am here and you, others, and the rest of the universe are there. The emphasis is on the “otherness” of others.
This perception of separation is an essential characteristic of the ego. The ego strengthens itself by complaining—either in thoughts or words—about other people, the situation you find yourself in, something that is happening right now but “shouldn’t be,” and even about yourself.
When this happens, the ego has control, your thoughts have control, and you have no control. If you want to be liberated from the ego, you must recognize the ego has created the perception and the resulting emotions. Then be present to the beauty that is actually around you such as a curious child, colors, peoples’ energy, a smile, and so on.
Start freeing yourself of your ego and start truly enjoying your life. All you have is time, regardless of how much, to live this life. Love and light on your journey.