“I just want someone who makes me happy.” Sometimes we say a person makes us happy because it is a concept we have been led to believe in fairytales, movies, and societal expectations. Endless inquiries on why you aren’t dating, married, having children, or guidance on changing relationships, jobs, homes, or your own looks only to imply that these things will make you happy.
The truth is, no one person or thing can make you happy. No one can make you change either. Why would you believe your power is so insignificant that anyone but you are in charge of your emotions? Emotions are based on perception which varies by individual. Our minds are very powerful and can attach a meaning to a memory or experience that another person has a completely different interpretation of.
The key technique to use when starting to change perception is Cognitive Behavior Modification (CBM), which I use with all my clients. It is a conscious and willful effort to change your perception and self-talk in order to remap or rewire your brain so it becomes natural and automatic. CBM shows you the control you have over your emotions and happiness.
Little things lead to happiness and you are the one who holds all the power.